


the only way out is through

by relationshipcrimes



Series: prompt fics 3 [8]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira tries to get over their phobia of needles by piercing their own ears, M/M, Needles, Piercings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29480967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relationshipcrimes/pseuds/relationshipcrimes
Summary: Maybe Akira doesn't care anymore about what happened in the interrogation room all those years ago, but their body still remembers to fear needles. And Akira has always hated being trapped, even if it's by their own fear.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira
Series: prompt fics 3 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164914
Comments: 3
Kudos: 123





	the only way out is through

**Author's Note:**

> sequel to ["the house on fire,"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29480823) which you don't actually have to read but it provides context.
> 
> written for the prompt "needle" from @_dormiry on twitter

When Akira had been young—about eight or nine—they'd been deathly afraid of small lizards. The fear wasn't rational, and didn't come from any particular bad experience, but just the sight of them made their entire body freeze up, despite the fact that none of them were particularly dangerous or even able to bite. Once a lizard crawled into their room in the middle of summer, and they'd fled to their parents' room, where they told them to go back to sleep; they'd fled their older sister's room, where _she_ told them to go back to sleep. So they went miserably back to their bedroom and perched on their homework desk, where they figured they'd be better able to see the lizard coming than if they were on their futon, and prayed that lizards didn't know how to climb.

They spent more than a few nights like this, because they never saw the lizard leave the room, so they figured it must be still in the room somewhere until they saw proof to the opposite. They remember mostly how hard the wood of the desk was against their back, and the feeling of being even smaller than they was, and how small the world became. That was the first time they felt trapped: A sense of claustrophobia, of the world shrinking around their neck like a noose, and fear all the way down the long hours of the night.

The next morning, they found the lizard curled up and dead under their schoolbooks, and their first thought was that they never wanted to feel as trapped as they had that night. So they picked it up with their bare hand. Their entire body shuddered in revulsion; the skin was leathery and dry, and the weight frighteningly light. The little lizard mouth was still open and its tongue crusty inside. The black eyes were indistinguishable from a lizard's eyes when it was alive. But they didn't let go. They sat on the floor until tears burned in their eyes and they cried openly like they were two again, but they hated fear more than they were afraid, and their mother found them sobbing by the bookcase an hour later, the lizard's bones and soft organs crushed between their fingers.

They were never afraid of lizards again.

* * *

A few years later, Akira feels the interrogation room tight around their throat. The world becomes small. Their breath is as quick as a trapped animal. They develop a fear of needles.

But they know the cure for that.

* * *

This is how Akechi walks in on Akira perched up on the hotel sink like a bird, a cork behind their ear and a needle in their hand aimed directly at their earlobe. "What are you doing," says Akechi, and a short moment of silence stretches before Akechi says, "That wasn't a rhetorical question, Kurusu."

"I'm taking a shower," says Akira, because there isn't enough oxygen in their brain from how close they are to hyperventilating.

"Fully clothed, in the sink, with a needle," says Akechi.

"The door was locked," Akira replies.

"It was not."

"You're supposed to knock."

"You were supposed to lock it." Akechi crosses his arms and leans against the door frame. "You _should_ see a professional if you want to get your ear pierced, you know."

Akira does not want to get their ear pierced. They wants to be free of the shit that keeps them up at night. They're just solving it with an earring. "Can you leave?"

"You're going to put it in crookedly. Or get it infected. At the very least, I don't care how dexterous you are, it can't possibly be easy to pierce your own ear from that angle."

Akira rolls their eyes. "I'll be fine." Akira isn't starting a model career with their new ear piercing.

Akechi shakes his head. "You're rushing into things. If you're really going to be so hardheaded as to pierce your own ear in a hotel bathroom, at least let me do it for you."

Akira doesn't say anything to that.

Akechi doesn't notice. Akira spends a lot of time not saying anything in response to things Akechi says, so it's not like it's out of the ordinary. "I don't understand why you didn't ask me in the first place," he goes on, and starts rolling up his sleeves without waiting for a response. Typical Akechi, inviting himself into places where he isn't wanted and asking for forgiveness rather than permission. Akira kind of thought it was funny when it wasn't happening to themselves.

For four whole minutes, Akechi cleans his hands in the hotel sink twice, then web searches the soap brand to see if it was reputable and safe for medical standards (which made Akira give him a doubtful look for two minutes, because they're getting an ear piercing, not open heart surgery), and then Akechi washes his hands again. Akira sits there with the needle in one hand, wondering if they should say: _No, I wanted to do it alone_ , or _No, I don't want you to see me this way_. Akira wonders if they're going to cry like they did when they were nine with the lizard in their hand.

"I sure hope collecting piercings isn't your new way of passing the time," Akechi mutters.

"Animal Crossing only lasts for so long," Akira says on reflex.

"Please pick up a different hobby, Joker. I hear knitting is greatly fulfilling."

 _That still involves needles_ , Akira almost says, and then thinks better of it.

With the level of professionalism and authority Akechi has in his voice when he says, "Face me," Akira would have assumed that Akechi had done this before. They aren't sure if they really want to ask, if it'd make it better or worse to know that Akechi has some sort of experience with medical needles. Akechi places the cork behind Akira's earlobe. The needle slips out of Akira's line of vision, but wherever Akechi is holding it, Akira can't feel it against their skin yet. "Hold still."

"I know—"

"No talking. It moves your ear. On three," says Akechi, which is how Akira knows that he is most definitely not going to pierce on three. "One," says Akechi, and Akira braces for the pain.

Nothing.

"Two," says Akechi, and Akira realizes that he really _is_ going to go on three, and then Akira starts to panic.

There hadn't been a warning before the men in the interrogation room put the needle in them. Events had just slid by them in front of their eyes and they hadn't been able to stop any of them, and the only two things they remember about the needle shot was secondly the tiny, insignificant pinprick of pain, but firstly the moment right before the pain, when they knew it was coming and no amount of thrashing or screaming would stop it and they had no idea what was in the vial or how much it'd hurt or whether they'd wake up after—

"Three," says Akechi, and then there's pain—surprisingly a lot of pain, for something that everyone said would be just a pinch—and then a _pop_. "Got it," Akechi mutters, as an odd heat crawls its way up Akira's earlobe to their neck. Akechi rummages around for the earring. "Don't touch it."

Akira reaches up to touch it. Their hand stops in midair, visibly shaking in front of their eyes. They feel lightheaded. They forgot to breathe. They try to breathe and their heart lurches in their chest and they are almost certain their heart is going to curl up like a starving lizard under the book case and die.

"I said don't touch it," Akechi says without looking, and turns back to fix the earring in. There's an interesting moment where Akira can hear the hollow needle going through the skin, can feel the tug and pull on the skin's surface tension. Akechi's eyes are narrow with an eerie focus in Akira's peripheral vision. There's a long second where Akechi's fingers fiddle with a piece of metal wedged into Akira's ear and they can feel the thing jangling around inside their skin as Akechi does something or other, and then Akechi pulls away, leaving the heavy weight of a foreign object in Akira's earlobe.

"There," says Akechi, and throws the disinfectant wipe in the trash. "Done. Are you oka—"

Akechi takes one look at their face and shuts his mouth.

 _I'm okay_ , Akira should say. They should say that. Right now, even. Because they are okay, because they have to be okay, because Akechi would never accept anything less.

Akira hopes vaguely that they aren't going to have a panic attack. Not that they've had them before; they've had nightmares and a few bad reactions to the smell of antiseptic; they just figure it'd be their luck to start now, when the most judging, ruthless, unsympathetic boy Akira's never wanted to let down is sitting with his face a breath away, watching Akira's face for the slightest crack or weakness.

"I'm okay," Akira says at last.

"Alright," says Akechi.

Akira purposefully unclenches their fingers, and tries hard not to wince when their knuckles creak from the force of trying to unstick them. Akechi watches Akira roll their neck and does not ask again if Akira is okay. "How does it look?" Akira says instead. They crane their neck to show off the earring with what they hope is their usual cocky flair, but the movements feel jerky even to them.

Akechi bites his lip. It's the only indication anything is out of the ordinary, because in the next second, he leans in, his face so close that Akira strains to watch him in the corner of their eye. Akechi's thumb traces a dull wave of pain through Akira's ear. His index cradles Akira's earlobe, lifting the earring up towards the light, the tip of his finger brushing gently against the place Akira's jaw meets their neck.

"It's an interesting decision," says Akechi. "As is everything you do." He draws back just enough to look Akira in the eye, his fingers still soft against the sensitive part of Akira's ear. "And it'll make it more difficult for us to swap clothes, if we ever get around to it."

"You can get a matching piercing," Akira says.

"No," says Akechi immediately.

"I'll pierce it for you."

"Absolutely not."

"Scared of a little pain, detective?"

"I'm terrified of needles," says Akechi blandly. "I've hated shots ever since I was little."

"Wh," says Akira.

"But I trust you'll keep my secret, Joker," says Akechi without expression, and with a short nod, slides off the bathroom counter and disappears out the door.

Akira slumps against the sink. Absentmindedly, they fiddle with their earlobe, and feel heat flush across their face.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter [@p5crimes](https://twitter.com/p5crimes)  
> tumblr [@akechicrimes](http://akechicrimes.tumblr.com)


End file.
